biases

We live in a world where some people don’t like other people simply because of preconceived notions. I admit, I myself have biases against some people but I try my best not to condemn or to openly criticize them.

These kinds of feelings can sometimes be results of past experiences. You’ve had a boyfriend from La Salle who cheated on you shamelessly. After a very painful break-up, every guy from La Salle that you meet is a playboy. Or a basketball varsity player embarrassed you in school then you grow up thinking that all athletes are assholes.

It can also come from a person’s beliefs. Your family is a strict, devout, deeply religious family (who put so much value on a woman’s virginity) and you grow up thinking that all unwed mothers are worthless and not worth any man’s time.

Biases can be bred and it can be damaging to both parties. Of course, it is to the person being discriminated upon but also, to the person who has these biases. It prevents us from fully recognizing and appreciating a person’s worth and gifts. It’s so sad that even the most open-minded person can actually have one or a few of these.

But how does one know whether he or she is doing something perfectly reasonable, logical, and fair? How would you know if your actions are actually simply brought about by unfair biases? Who draws the line? Or do your biases give you a right to treat a person unfairly?

There is nothing wrong with fighting for you what you think or what you believe is right. But if everyone would do that, if nobody would be giving or willing to say ‘okay’ even if they don’t believe it, our lives would be one big argument after another.

I encounter these kinds of situations a lot of times when I would say to myself ‘hey, that person have no right to say that’ or ‘that person have no right to do that’. And sometimes, I would be too chicken to voice it out. I have no excuse for myself. Except that I refuse to challenge a belief or a thinking that is not mine. I refuse to start something that I know has no ending. And I am simply muted by these words I’ve read before:

“If we’d been born where they were born and taught what they were taught, we would believe what they believe.”