that nagging feeling

A few weeks after my last period, I was very moody (more than usual) and irritable. I was very puzzled because this usually happens a few days before or during my period. My thoughts were... impossible, I couldn’t be having my period this early. So I just let it pass. But I had that nagging feeling...

At around the same time, I found myself hungry most of the time (more than usual). Again, I was puzzled because I am never that hungry just an hour after a meal! Add to that the feeling of getting fat, I made efforts to lessen my consumption (in other words, diet). The nagging feeling gets stronger...

A week before I was supposed to get my period, I noticed the absence of any premenstrual symptoms. I am very aware of my body and the signs are confusing me. The nagging feeling is not just a feeling anymore but a possibility.

Even though the thought is there, I didn’t really think it could be true. Without thinking about it, I drank way a LOT of coffee the past few days. I played soccer, got slammed down by one of the students and got hit by the ball so hard on the right ear (by the same student), I literally got knocked off my feet and lost a bit of hearing in that ear for a while. Because of the nagging feeling, I was suddenly scared that I didn’t take care of myself.

We went swimming this weekend and I waited. With the amount of physical activity I was having, I expected my period to come early. On the third day that I missed my period, I finally told Ramil that maybe we should buy a pregnancy kit. So on the way home, we passed by watson’s in katipunan to buy a 62.50 pesos kit. Upon arriving home, I composed myself and went to the CR. I put 5 drops in the sample well and showed Ramil the plastic thing. We waited 2 minutes... ha, 1 line. 5 minutes... What the hell is this?

We were confused. It was just supposed to be 1 line = negative, 2 lines = positive and we were getting... 1 line and a faint one? It was 10:30 pm. I was suddenly trying to talk Ramil into looking for an open drugstore just so we can buy another one and check again. Ramil’s answer was... ‘maybe we should wait until tomorrow to give God time to think about it’. Hehe! Still, I was able to convince him. So we went to mercury drug, bought a 125 pesos kit and got exactly the same result – a solid line and a faint line. I was crying and excited at the same time. When I was doing the test, I expected to see 1 solid line; I even psyched myself not to get disappointed. Despite the nagging feeling, I was completely surprised and bowled over. Hell, we’re gonna be parents!